Bueller? Bueller?

“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”                                                                                           — Ferris Bueller

I’ve been thinking  about Ferris Bueller lately, which you can tell by the video I posted on Monday.  On the off chance you’ve been in a vacuum for the last 22 years or at least during the late-eighties, Ferris Bueller is a movie about an American teenager who skips school… a lot.  And on this particular day, he is really pushing the envelope of skipping too many days so he could possibly not graduate.  What ensues is a pretty awesome day of play, pursuit, and wild possibility.

To me, Ferris represents that part of ourselves or our brains which have the capacity and desire for play and levity.  What makes Bueller special is that he does not resist the temptation to have fun.  He runs with his imagination and innovation and in turn, he falls into amazingly dynamic situations A. yes, I know, because the directors make that happen but B. And more importantly, Ferris is open and looking for there to be fun and adventure unlike his buddy Cameron who is constantly bracing himself against having  a good time and the sense of freedom it could offer him.

Are you a Ferris or are you a Cameron?

There are a lot of Camerons hanging around in the world, knowingly and  unknowingly admonishing others that to be joyful or carefree is dangerous, naive, and ignorant about “real” life.   In this context, the Camerons see “real” as being defined by that which is grave, serious, and ruled by obligation and duty.  They have created this definition through experience and belief.  Yes, life is a lot of work and if we sang on a float in Manhattan in NYC every day we might get arrested a couple of times.  But what is it that  prevents the Camerons from seeing “real” life from being defined as “fun”, “prosperous”, “exciting” and “joyful”?

You may think I am kidding around here but try it for a couple of days.  Put on your fun hat.  Be positive.   Tell people that you are having a great day.   Offer up as much joy as you can muster.  For a couple of days, ban the words tired, stressed, maxxed, broke or jobless, etc.  Shine and allow your happiness, joy, and good humor through and I promise you this…there will be at least a handful of folks for whom your behavior is off-putting…congratulations, you have just met the Camerons of the world.  Your joy threatens their notion that life has to be somewhat miserable in order to be respected and honored.

Sure,  they want to have fun, but at this point in the Camerons’ lives, it is such an unfamiliar concept.  By now, the act of being playful and fun is laden with judgment, guilt, and doubt that it is quite easy to pass off as unnecessary and immature.

I recently spoke at a  wellness conference at a local hospital. In it one of the presenters was making a very good point about the importance of creating  a space  for us to suffer and allow this suffering to be expressed without judgment.  I agree wholeheartedly with the importance of  bringing an awareness to what we are feeling and experiencing and allowing it the space needed to dissolve or resolve itself. This is especially important if we are going through a challenging time or are in a time of grieving.  Release is critical for our well being whether that release is through tears or laughter.

However, the risk is that we begin to let our grief or our strife define us.  The coping mechanisms become personality traits.  It is almost as if we allow the negative or stressful energy to have a voice but we don’t know how to allow it to  move away from us or how to transform the energy into something positive and healthy and instead it becomes a dark, stale cloud engulfing us.  Often, when we are in a difficult time, being joyful can seem disrespectful and irreverent.  Yet, joy is the wind that allows us to breathe fresh air again and what can elevate us to see what we need to in a situation in order to feel freedom,healing, and clarity.     What I am suggesting is that it is imperative  to embrace the suffering AND feelings of joy, fun, and freedom in order to live whole and balanced lives.

What defines you more: your struggle or your joy?

It is easy to dismiss Ferris as a caricature, as not being possible in real society.  Okay, that is fine, I will give you that bouncing off of neighbors’ trampolines, running through their houses during dinner, or impersonating a police officer might be activities that are over the top(not too mention illegal) but what about the spirit of Ferris.

How much do you allow yourself the brand of fun that Ferris depicts?  When was the last time you played hooky or lounged in the sun?

Even the Cameron in the movie comes around a bit and reveals this at the end of the film:

“I am not going to sit on my ass as the events that affect me unfold to determine

the course of my life. I’m going to take a stand. I’m going to defend it. Right or wrong, I’m going to defend it.”

He takes a stand for his life by loosening up and in doing so is not irreverent at all, but instead  becomes deeply reverrent for how valuable his life is and how the imprtance of living it consciously. It is up to us to choose to take the yellow brick road, the day off, or the ferrari just waiting to be driven by us.